Let’s talk about masturbation.
Yes. Masturbation.
The thing a whole lot of people do and somehow we still act like we need to whisper about it.
We don’t.
Masturbation is normal. It can be fun. It can help you figure out what you like. It can actually be good for you. And sometimes it’s simply nice to have an activity where nobody else’s opinion is required.
First of All, You’re Allowed to Enjoy Yourself
Somewhere along the way, a lot of us picked up the idea that masturbation was embarrassing, naughty, or something we weren’t really supposed to admit to doing.
Meanwhile, humans have been figuring out ways to entertain themselves since approximately forever.
So maybe we can retire the shame.
You’re allowed to enjoy your own body.
No permission slip required.
Consider It Research
Here’s the thing about pleasure: nobody gets an instruction manual for your body.
Not even your partner.
We sometimes expect our partners to just know what we like. And then we’re disappointed when they don’t.
But your partner can’t know how to please you if you can’t tell them what you like.
And how are you supposed to know what you like if you’ve never taken the time to explore?
That’s where masturbation can actually be pretty useful.
It gives you a chance to figure things out without pressure. What feels good? What doesn’t? What surprised you? What sounded great in theory but turned out to be a definite nope?
Maybe you like vibration. Maybe you don’t. Maybe you discover something completely different than you expected.
Congratulations. You have collected data.
And once you know your own body a little better, you can actually communicate that information to your partner instead of expecting them to be a mind reader.
Because “I really like this” is much more helpful than “I don’t know… just do something.”
And Yes, It Can Actually Be Good for You
As if pleasure needed another selling point.
Masturbation isn’t just something that feels good. It can also be a perfectly healthy way to relax, release sexual tension, and reconnect with your body.
Orgasms can release feel-good chemicals like endorphins and oxytocin, which may help you feel more relaxed and, for some people, make it a little easier to fall asleep afterward.
It can also be a pretty great stress reliever.
Bad day?
Brain won’t shut up?
Feeling a little tense?
There are worse ways to spend 15 minutes.
And then there’s another benefit: becoming more comfortable with your own body and your own pleasure. The more you understand what works for you, the easier it can be to communicate that to someone else.
There’s no prescription here. You don’t need to masturbate a certain number of times a week to be healthy.
But if you enjoy it?
Good news: pleasure and taking care of yourself can absolutely exist in the same sentence.
Yes, You Can Masturbate When You’re in a Relationship
Being in a relationship does not mean you have officially retired from solo activities.
Masturbation doesn’t automatically mean your partner isn’t satisfying you or that something is wrong with your sex life.
Partnered sex and solo pleasure are two different experiences.
Sometimes you want intimacy with your partner.
Sometimes you want to take care of yourself.
Sometimes your partner is asleep and you have places to be in the morning.
Life is about balance.
Toys Are Not Cheating
On your partner.
Or on your hand.
A toy is just another option.
And there are a LOT of options.
You can keep things simple or explore different sensations, intensities, shapes, and styles to see what you enjoy.
There is no prize for doing it the “old-fashioned way.”
And using a toy doesn’t mean you’ll suddenly be unable to enjoy anything else. Sometimes a vibrator is simply really good at its job.
We respect a strong work ethic.
How Often Should You Masturbate?
However often you want to.
There is no masturbation quota.
Some people do it frequently. Some occasionally. Some rarely. Some go through phases where they’re very interested and phases where they’d rather reorganize the junk drawer.
All normal.
Your interest can change with stress, hormones, relationships, sleep, medications, life, and whether your brain has decided to cooperate that day.
The better question isn’t:
“Am I doing this enough?”
It’s:
“Does this feel good and healthy for me?”
Basically…
Masturbation doesn’t need to be a secret guilty pleasure.
Drop the guilty part.
Be curious. Learn what you like. Explore your body. Try something new if you want to.
Because knowing what makes you feel good isn’t something to be embarrassed about.
And if you need a little help with the “what should I try?” part…
That’s what we’re here for.
Come see us at Please. Ask questions. Browse around. Take your time. We promise we’ve heard it before.
And if we haven’t?
Well, now we have.
This article is for general educational purposes and is not medical, legal, or professional safety advice. Activities involving the neck, breath restriction, suspension, electricity, piercing, fire, or other advanced risks require specialized education and are not covered by this guide.